


The Scavenger Hunt ((South Park Short Story))

by Anuyushi



Category: South Park
Genre: And they recycled the name for Scott Tenorman must die, Does anyone even know the sixth grade leaders name, I swear it was Scott Tenorman too, Other, So that's what I went with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29654217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anuyushi/pseuds/Anuyushi
Summary: A new school event leads Stan to be teamed up with a sixth-grader who has plans of his own.♚[© 2021 |@Anuyushi]♛
Kudos: 1





	The Scavenger Hunt ((South Park Short Story))

The school bell rang across the school, ushering all the students in their seats if they weren't in them already. Chattering of voices buzzed throughout the classroom, mixing from last night's events to the curiosity of what hellscape class would force them to learn today.  
Stan exhaled, leaning boredly against his desk. He almost drifted off before there was a tap on his shoulder, urging him to look to the boy next to him.  
"Hey dude, you look tired." Kyle raised an eyebrow, earning a long, drawn-out sigh from Stan as he pushed himself to sit up.  
"I am," he complained, "Shelly was up talking to her stupid boyfriend online for hours. Even closing my bedroom door didn't help, she was so loud."  
As much as he would have loved to shit-talk his sister for hours, the teacher suddenly entered the room, giving a wave to silence the class as he approached his desk.  
"Alright class, settle down," He didn't bother looking to the students or even giving a hello before he picked up a piece of chalk and started scribbling across the blackboard. "We have a special event today. Your dumbass principal insisted it's unhealthy for all you kids to sit at your seats for hours so we're doing something a little different today." He stepped aside, revealing the massive letters written down, spelling out 'Scavenger Hunt' in all caps.  
"We want all of you to go out into town and find a specific list of items and then report back to the school. Whoever gets here first will win a prize."  
Instantly, multiple hands shot up but he made no moves to call upon anyone, rather, he chose to answer the question everyone was wondering instead.  
"Now now, we know how excited you are. The winner will get a brand new electric scooter." With the laziness of a glutton, he drew a stick figure level scooter across the board underneath the words.  
"It's too expensive for a prize in my opinion but hey, I'm no the one buying."  
"Dude," Cartman muttered from my other side, "Imagine what we could do with that." He was basically drooling thinking about it. "You think it's the new Skaterboy model? That spins around and shit?"  
"What does it matter to you?" Kyle chuckled to himself, "You probably just want to sit on it and strap a dog to a leash so it can carry you around."  
"Hey shut up, you fuckin Jew," Cartman quickly snapped back, "I was gonna let you douchbags look at it but I'm going to win it and I'm gonna keep it all to myself."  
"As if you could win, fatass," Kyle sneered, earning a muffled giggle from Kenny nearby, "You'd be lucky if you could walk down the steps of the school."  
Stan thought for a moment, imagining what he could do with a high-quality scooter like that. Surely there was no specific thing he would use it for but if he won... He found his eyes drifting to Wendy nearby, listening with a sparkle in her eyes.  
Giving her a gift like that, she'd have to see how much he liked her. His heart melted just thinking about it.  
"Children!" The teacher called, silencing the conversation then and there. "One last thing before you all set out."  
From atop his desk, he picked up a stack of papers and started handing them out to each student,  
"Here's your list of items. Your buddy's name is on the top, make sure you stay with your buddy and be safe, we don't want any accidents like last year," He cleared his throat before handing Stan his list.  
"What do you mean buddies?" Clyde was the first to ask, face muddled with confusion.  
The teacher needed to let out a sigh before meeting his eyes,  
"You all are too young to go out into town on your own, so the school paired everyone up with an older student," He allowed everyone to take a quick look at their list before continuing, "Your buddies are waiting by the front of the school already, make sure you find your buddy with the name tag they're wearing."  
"Dude I'm teamed up with Bartles," Kyle sighed before folding up his list.  
"God damn it, I got Stacy" Cartman read the name of his own buddy before taking a glance to Stan, "What about you? Who'd you get stuck with?"  
"Uhh..." Stan was almost afraid to look at his own buddy but with all his friends waiting, he brought his eyes down to his list. "Oh no..." He had to reread it a few times before looking up, fear in his heart. "Oh man,"  
"Well, who the fuck is it?" Cartman suddenly took the list and read the name on his own before letting out a laugh, "Oh Stan you're dead! Was nice knowing you, good luck."  
"Who is it?" Kyle leaned over to look to Cartman, who passed the list across Stan's next to reach Kyle, but was quickly swiped away before the two friends made the exchange.  
"It's Scott, alright?" His stomach sank just saying it aloud.  
For a short minute, the friend group fell quiet, only to be broken by Kenny laughing once more.  
"Weak, dude," Kyle frowned slightly.  
Everyone knew about the sixth graders and some were alright. In a school event, they would have to protect their fourth-grade partner or risk getting in trouble, even Stan knew that. But Scott was different, he didn't care about any of that, and despised fourth graders.  
Being paired up with him meant either failure or actual death. Stan's original excitement for getting the scooter was replaced with the fear of being teamed up with the leader of the sixth graders.  
He barely had time to accept his death before the teacher gave a short call, urging the students out of the class.  
His entire body felt numb, and he didn't even realize he was gripping the list with a death grip until he felt his palms get sweaty.  
"Why don't you just ask for a partner change or something?" Kyle tried, placing his hand on Stan's shoulder, "That guy is an ass."  
"Nah it's not worth it," Cartman butt in first, "Stan's being a pussy, he knows he can't win against me anyway. I mean look at this," Unfolding his own list, he read out one of the items, "A toy soldier. I could find one of those in my cereal boxes. It doesn't matter if he got a partner change."  
"Dude shut the fuck up," Stan found himself talking back before he even realized what was coming out of his mouth, "It doesn't matter who I'm teamed up with, I'm going to kick your ass at this."  
"Uh-huh," He taunted in return, "Do it then, you can't."  
He had to bite back a retort before walking ahead of his friend group, not bothering to look back. He loved his friends but he could have really slapped Cartman sometimes.  
Now it wasn't about the prize, he had to win just to shove Cartman's face in it. 

At the front of the school, the cluster of sixth-graders waited around lazily, talking on the steps or leaning against the wall, a few of the girls sitting on the ground in smaller groups.  
A few looked his way as he entered but none of them particularly cared about his presence.  
As he looked around though, there wasn't a single sign of Scott. He almost had a sigh of relief that perhaps he wouldn't even show and Stand could it alone, but of course it wasn't that easy.  
"You look confused," A girl's sudden voice nearly made him jump and turn to a sixth-grade girl that had approached him from behind. She gave a smile, her curly blonde hair bouncing as she moved, "You're Stan, right? I'm friends with Shelly, your sister?"  
She held out a hand but simply hearing the girl knew his older sister was enough for him to be suspicious. After a moment of seeing he wouldn't take her hand, she crossed her arms and looked around, "Anyway, I'm Kelly. I don't think you're my partner but I could help you find yours if you need it."  
He could have read her name tag on her shirt, but the introduction was fine too.  
"Sure..." She seemed nice but he couldn't help giving her the side-eye as she walked ahead of him.  
"So who are you looking for?" She took a glance back for just a short moment to make sure he was still following.  
"Uh, Scott," He offered his list out, allowing Kelly to get a careful look before furrowing her eyebrows.  
"Scott, huh? Hm, I'm not sure I've seen him yet. If you can't find him after everyone is paired up, I don't mind if you join Craig and me."  
"You're Craig's partner?"  
Instead of answering, she gave a bright smile.  
"I'm a little late and you're trying to steal my partner?"  
Kelly's eyes drifted behind Stan, and he knew that voice well enough to not want to turn around. That was Scott alright.  
"Oh, no that's not what I meant!" She awkwardly chuckled before handing Stan his list back once more. "It was just an offer if you weren't going to show. But looks like you're here now, so there's no problem."  
"Yeah, whatever,"  
Scott's shadow cast over Stan before he saw the boy, and finally brought himself to turn around and look to his scowling face.  
Brown hair in an unbrushed mess, scowling down to his fourth-grade self with dark eyes.  
As always, Scott was wearing his favorite shirt, which was nothing more than a green t-shirt with his own face plastered on the front.  
Did he get taller? Or... Working out? Either way, he didn't want to piss him off.  
Unlike all the other sixth graders, he wasn't wearing his name tag, likely because there was no point, everyone knew who he was.  
Stan looked back to Kelly but she had already vanished, leaving the two boys alone.  
The only thing he could think of was giving a chuckle and forced smile, but Scott simply raised an eyebrow,  
"I don't want to play with some stupid fourth grader today, I have shit to do but it looks like we're stuck together so you'll be coming with me."  
Without so much as asking his opinion, Scott started away, urging Stan to hurry to keep up with his longer legs.  
"Wait, what about the scavenger hunt?"  
"What about it? I don't care." He didn't even look Stan's way as he led the kid out of the school among the others that had already found their partners.  
How did he get so unlucky? Was it too late to take on Kelly's deal? Why did Scott want to be teamed up with him anyway when he hated fourth graders so much?  
He had way too many questions and Scott wouldn't be answering any of them any time soon.  
Upon reaching the street, Stan opened up his list and read the first item.  
"I have to find a baseball bat," He took a look to Scott, who scoffed.  
"Good for you, and I have to find some mags. You aren't getting shit until I do."  
He started away once more, leading Stan down an unfamiliar road. He could only hope the others were struggling to find their items because, with Scott, there was no way he was going to get back to school in time.  
It didn't take long for the street to become more suspicious. The buildings began to appear rundown, cars abandoned beside sidewalks.  
A few hobos held out their cans and begged for money but Scott simply pushed their arms away.  
"My friend should be around here somewhere, where the hell are they?"  
He stopped for a moment, almost causing Stan to run into him. Luckily he stopped before that happened, but he still found himself inching closer to Scott for protection. The eyes of strangers in the area on him were almost creepy.  
The road was fairly barren until a car turned the corner, going down the street at a good speed. The driver didn't seem keen on being in the area either.  
Suddenly Stan didn't feel the ground beneath him. With a shove, Stan stumbled and fell back into the road. he didn't quite see the car, save from the flash of color, but he did hear the screeching of the breaks and the tires swerving before a thunderous crash, causing the student to scramble to his feet once more and look to the wreckage.  
Did that just happen?!  
He felt stunned in place, unable to even move, but Scott brushed by, approaching the car and giving a kick to the dented trunk that now popped open easily.  
"Dude, Jesus Christ!" He called out, approaching the sixth-grader. "Were you trying to kill me?!"  
Scott gave no response as he shuffled through the belongings before suddenly stopping and looking back, a familiar item in his hands.  
"I helped," He handed the baseball bat out for Stan to take.  
"You had no idea they had a baseball bat in their trunk," He looked to the item, then to Scott before quickly taking it.  
"Did I?" Giving a smirk, he started away from the car, not even giving the driver a glance to see if they were alright.  
Stan could still feel the fear in his very bones of nearly being hit, but if that's what Scott was doing, he wasn't going to show any more weakness like that.  
Did he really want to beat Cartman that much that he would risk his life now?  
....  
Yeah probably.  
Passing an alley, a figure suddenly stepped into view, stopping Scott quickly. The two boys shared a fist bump, as though they knew each other.  
"Hey Keifer," Scott grinned, "You got the goods?"  
"Obviously. You found a way to ditch?" The sixth-grader took a glance to Stan before turning back to Scott,  
"Who's the twerp? Little brother?"  
"Does he look like my brother? The only way I could get out of school was to agree to this stupid chaperone thing. Just ignore him."  
The two boys began whispering amongst each other, too low for Stan to hear.  
"Hello?" He tried, getting no response. "Hey, if you're not going to help, just bring me back to the school man." As he moved closer, Scott pushed the young child away once again without so much as looking back at him.  
He couldn't help an annoyed huff before noticing the guy apparently named Keifer hand out what looked like a rolled-up magazine, which Scott pocked quickly. In return, Scott handed him a five-dollar bill and finally returned his attention to Stan.  
"See? Wasn't so hard. Come on you stupid kid, what do you have next?"  
While he was curious about what he just witnessed, it was probably better not to pry into Scott's business and piss him off now that he was finally willing to help.  
Stan pulled out his list and looked to the next object,  
"A CD in perfect condition?" What sort of item was that for a scavenger hunt?  
"Hey," Scott suddenly looked to the other sixth-grader, "You still have that leather jacket I let you borrow?"  
"Yeah," He raised his eyebrow in confusion but didn't question it before vanishing into the alley once more, only to return, holding out a black leather jacket, which Scott slipped on quickly and adjusted it into place.  
"Perfect, now let's go."  
"Go where?" Stan had to once again speedwalk to keep up, and as expected, wasn't given an answer.  
He wasn't going to say it aloud, but Scott was really starting to piss him off. Not that he had a high idea of sixth graders to begin with, but the leader is the biggest piece of shit.  
Giving Scott a closer look, Stan couldn't help but notice the magazine sticking out of his pocket. Still rolled up, but a woman's long blonde hair peeking out from the edge.  
"What is it?" He finally decided to ask, thinking that perhaps if he got closer to Scott, the sixth-grader would be more inclined to see it through.  
"Nothing for you," Scott quickly shut him down before shoving his hands in the jacket pockets, causing the magazine to smash against his hip. "As if you'd ever see anything so beautiful in your life."  
"There's a girl on it," He couldn't help cocking his head curiously, "She has pretty hair."  
"I..." Scott raised an eyebrow, looking a little uncomfortable, "I suppose so? Why the hell do you want to win this stupid thing anyway?"  
Stan gave an internal sigh of relief, his innocent act apparently working.  
"There's a girl I like," He forced a smile. "I mean, not like, like like, but like, I dunno, I want to impress her with winning and shove Cartman's face into it. He's an asshole."  
"Yeah yeah I get it," Scott reached up to fix his hair out of his face before clicking his tongue. "If it's for a girl, I'd be a determined fuck too. I'll help out, just don't get in my way, or say a god damn word or I swear I will make sure you regret it."  
To make a point, he held his fist in his other hand, grinning with a sense of malice. Yeah, he didn't want to be on the other side of that fist, all Stan wanted was to finish this scavenger hunt and get that scooter.  
He was so focused on trying to get on Scott's good side that he didn't even notice they had left the shady neighborhood and was closing in on the mall until they were nearly at the doors.  
How the hell did they get there that fast? He opened his mouth to question it but was swiftly cut off,  
"Shortcut. Do you think I'm walking around town without knowing all the back alleys for a quick escape? Let's just get this over with. Choose something on your list you're going to look for and give me the rest," he held out his hand waiting for Stan's list to be given.  
The fourth-grader needed a short moment to examine it before handing it out before Scott lost his patience.  
"I'll try to find the box of coconut cookies,"  
"Whatever, I'll get the rest. Meet me at the electronics when you find them. Don't screw this up or you're on your own."  
Pocketing the list, Scott fixed his jacket and tidied his hair as best he could before striding inside, his chest puffed out in confidence.  
Did he think he was a biker or something? He could maybe pass for looking like one if he had a beard and larger muscles.  
Waiting for Scott to vanish, Stan hurried inside the mall swiftly. He didn't want to be seen entering with Scott in case the sixth-grader decided to cause trouble. His mom would kill him if an older kid dragged him into something, Scott wasn't to be trusted.  
Coconut cookies would be easy to find at least, there was plenty of bakeries around, one of them was bound to carry the treat.  
He stepped inside the first one he saw and looked down the menu of items.  
Surprising enough, there were only chocolate cookies, while the other desserts were more centered around ice creams and cakes.  
Well, that was one down.  
Stan tried bakery after bakery, shop after shop, yet none seemed to carry what he was looking for. Finally, he needed to take a break to catch his break and relax his legs from all the running around and collapsed on one of the many benches around the mall.  
How was it so annoying to find something so common? This was fucking weak.  
"How are the other guys doing?" He wondered aloud when a shadow cast over him,  
"Pretty good actually," Kyle held up a bag of goodies, "Where's your buddy dude? Did he ditch you?"  
"Kyle, what the fuck are you doing here?" Stan pushed himself up once more. As for his latter question, he couldn't really say. That would be something Scott would do but he was sorta Stan's only hope considering he had his list of items.  
"What are you talking about? The entire class came here, the mall has everything. Where did you go?"  
With a deep inhale, Stan pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance and set the bat down on the bench.  
"Scott has been a pain in the ass and took me to some sketchy place in town and tried to kill me. Please tell me there's still a chance at winning."  
"I mean maybe against Cartman," Kyle shrugged, "My buddy is trying to find some of my last things, Cartman fell asleep at a massage chair. I don't think he has a single item. Is that all you have?" He took a glance to the bat before returning to Stan. "Weak, dude. Butters has more items than that."  
"Kyle, I fucking know," The fourth-grader groaned out, "This whole thing has been the worst day of my life. I don't even think I care about winning anymore, I just want to go home and never speak to another sixth-grader again."  
"He's really that bad?" Kyle gave a short chuckle. "I mean I know he's a bully but-"  
"You don't understand man," Stan took a hold of his friend's shoulders in a tight grip before leaning close and whispering. "I think he literally killed a guy, I've been carrying around a stolen bat from a murdered dude. My fingerprints are on this. Is this worth it Kyle? Is it worth murder and jail?"  
"Uhh..." Kyle's eyes widened and he averted eye contact, "I think maybe you should just sit this out dude, you're talking fucking crazy."

"Oh no it's way too late now," Stan laughed, releasing Kyle just to grab a handful of his own shirt covering his chest. He could feel his heart beating now as it all caught up to him. Scott was some sort of literal psychopath!  
"I just need coconut cookies, please tell me you know what shop has coconut cookies."  
"Uhh..." Kyle's eyes wandered all around before slowly pointing to the second floor of the mall. "I might've seen something from the bakery up there. Just calm down dude, some kid had a heart attack from panicking as much as you are. Think about it, if we can beat Cartman, we can rub that prize right in his fatass face."  
That was... Comforting. If not for impressing Wendy, he could always take a chance to shit on Cartman. Stan allowed himself a few slow, deep breaths before reaching back and picking up his single item by the handle.  
"Right, it's only for today, maybe the police will have no idea I was basically the reason some dude died today, you know?"  
"Right..." Kyle raised an eyebrow. "You know I'd probably get deep into whatever shit you're talking about right now but we're in the middle of a scavenger hunt race. Let's come back to that later."

With a wave of his hand and a short goodbye, Kyle went off again, his floppy hat bouncing in his short jog.  
Well, procrastinating was fun while it lasted. Stan rolled his shoulders and dragged the bat behind him as he made his way to the escalators. Once he stepped on and was carried upwards, he couldn't help but look down to the floor below.  
Cartman still rested in one of the massage chairs, obviously not even on, while talking to a nervous-looking Butters.

The boy couldn't help a squint. What were they talking about? Something in his gut told him it wasn't good but with Cartman wearing what looked like shelf sunglasses, the tag still hanging off them, it was difficult to tell what expression Cartman wore. Was that the intention or was he just trying to look like the biggest douchebag imaginable?  
He didn't have much time to think about it as Stan reached the second floor and nearly tripped coming off the moving contraption.  
Without a moment to waste, he followed Kyle's directions to the first bakery he saw.  
It looked like it was mostly for muffins and cakes but as he turned to the menu, Stan's eyes practically lit up as he saw the dessert on the menu.

Without a second thought, the fourth-grader pulled a dollar out of his pocket and slammed it on the counter, making the clerk nearly jump in surprise.  
It all felt like a blur until the cookies were bagged within his hand and Stan was carrying himself out of the store, relief across his entire body until a flash of green made him stop abruptly, nearly falling into the guy that jumped in front of him.  
"You found it," Scott's voice nearly sounded approving. "I got the other shit, now let's get the fuck out before mall security catches up." The Sixth-grader held up a heavy-looking bag with a sneer across his face. "I found all of it, yeah?"  
"Are you-" He started reaching out, "Seri-"  
Before he could finish, Scott pulled the bag back, holding him back from peeking inside.  
"Look, I got the shit, now let's go. I didn't exactly pay for any of it."  
Before he could argue, Scott had a tight hold of Stan's arm and was dragging him along on his much shorter, stubby legs.  
As painful as the grip on him was, and the difficulty keeping up, he couldn't help being a little happy.  
If Scott actually came through and wasn't fucking with him, Stan probably just won the entire event. He could just imagine the scooter now, shiny and new, Wendy swooning over him, maybe if he could prevent himself from vomiting out of nervousness, they could even share a kiss.  
What an incredible win the day would be after the hellscape the start of it was.  
It wasn't until they were out of the mall and back on the sidewalk did Scott release his arm, allowing Stan to slow down and walk next to him.  
"Thanks," Was the first thing he could muster to the sixth-grader who merely scoffed and tossed the bag over his shoulder. From within, the items clanked and fell together.  
"Yeah, whatever. You came with me to get the mag so I can help with your shitty thing. Plus the school would suspend me or something if they figured out I took you there so this is my payment for you to keep your mouth shut."  
He shoved his free hand in his pocket, puffing out his chest proudly.  
Despite Scott's own reasons for helping, Stan could still allow himself to feel grateful. It wasn't like Scott to even be nice to a younger kid let alone help one out.  
He was usually bullied by his posse.  
Clearing his throat, Stan bit his lip before he mustered up the nerve to speak after giving a sigh.  
"Hey, that guy in the car, that wasn't uh, like a murder or anything right? The guy isn't dead?"  
"What?" The Sixth-grader raised an eyebrow. "Of course he's not, that asshole was my dad trying to patrol that road for me after he heard I agreed to the chaperone. Obviously, I'd go there anyway. Is that what you're fucking worried about? He and his car take more beatings than that on a daily basis."  
Stan suddenly felt a little dizzy and clutched the bat in his hand. So it actually belonged to Scott, that made everything feel a lot better, and the fact that he didn't contribute to anyone's death, the day was looking up already.  
For a moment, Stan considered asking why Scott's dad took so many beatings but thinking about how aggressive Scott was to just the fourth graders, he either had an idea already or didn't want to know.  
Shaking his head, he decided to change the subject and look to the older kid.  
"So we're pals now right? You're not going to piss on me anymore?"  
It seemed logical, if Scott was willing to do that to his own dad to give him something of his own?  
Suddenly, the sixth-grader laughed, not even bothering to look at him.  
"You think one day of helping you out is going to magically make us friends? I despise you and your friends, that's not going to change, screw fourth graders. But this wasn't as big of a pain in the ass as I thought it would be. Let's say this, don't bother us, we don't bother you, fair deal?"  
"Sure," Stan didn't think twice before agreeing. It was absolutely fair. There's no way any fourth grader wanted to fuck with Scott, and maybe the sixth graders won't randomly bully them anymore.  
High hoping, but there was still a chance.  
As the school came near, a small crowd had formed of teachers in the front yard.  
They were circled around something, smiling and talking among each other.  
Scott suddenly grunted as he dropped the bag and handed it over to Stan,  
"I'm not going into a crowd of teachers, good luck brat."

Excitement filled Stan's mind as he heaved up the bag in his free hand and made his way to the school. He had every item, there was no way anyone got to the school first, this was his chance to prove himself, to-!  
The teacher's parted, revealing Cartman in the middle of the crowd, stupid sunglasses still on his face and sucking a juice box.  
"Oh heyyyy Stan," He put a hand on the Scooter's handle. "Didn't think I'd see you here. Oh, are those your items? Tough luck dude."  
"What the fuck," He looked around but there were no cameras filming for some sort of prank show, "Dude how the absolute fuck did you win? Actually, how the hell did you even get here?"  
"Oh don't worry about the details," He took a long sip of the juice box until it made an annoying empty slurping sound around Cartman's smug, stupid lips.  
With a smack of them, he dropped the juice box on the lawn,  
"Let's just say Butters and I decided it would be for the best if I had the prize. It's dangerous for him, you know?"  
Thinking for a moment, Stan finally blinked. Did he go through all that with Scott to still lose?  
"Did you seriously steal Butters' items?"  
"He said he'd let me try it once he test drives it first," Butters was suddenly at Stan's side, fiddling with his fingers. "It's dan-dangerous, Cartman was being a good friend."  
"Dude he stole your fucking items," Stan looked back to a smug Cartman, "You didn't even try to win. Where'd your partner go? How would a sixth-grader let you be a lazy ass the entire day and then steal from another student?"  
"Details details," He pulled himself onto the scooter and pushed off the grass in what could've been the most awkward escape Stan had ever seen as the boy grappled to push the wheels through the grass.  
As a few more students and their buddies began to arrive, Cartman became a struggling spectacle.  
"He cheated didn't he?" Kyle approached, only for Stan to hum, physically unable to take his eyes off their friend.  
"Well someone come help me god damn it! I just need a boost," He grunted as he pushed on the handles.  
To perhaps everyone's surprise, Kenny went in, giggling as he did, and gave Cartman a strong push, finally getting him off the grass.  
The large boy laughed as he started away,  
"Thanks Kenny you were always my favorite, see you later fuckers!" He held up a middle finger to the small crowd of teachers and students as he drifted off the sidewalk and into the road the very moment a car slammed into the spectacle.


End file.
